Warning: This is a cynic, mope post.

When I saw today’s daily prompt “topic”, I thought it would be easy to answer. And so I thought. The more pressing concern/question I have in mind is “how can someone be happy in difficult situation”.

Going through challenges and difficulties are very much part of life. There is no one in this world who is spared from hardship and problems. However, some people seem to have better coping and defense mechanisms when dealing with bad situations compared to others. Some people’s overall happiness do not seem as compromised when unfavorable things happen. I never thought that at this point in my life I would find myself questioning how some of these people manage to stay happy even when they are facing so much difficulties.

I am currently experiencing what I think is my rock bottom. I have had my fair share of problems and challenges in the past like I have been hurt by others, hurt the feelings of others, had arguments with people I love, I have made bad decisions that brought undesirable consequences, had different kinds of losses, experienced the death of a loved one, had previous health concerns, the list could go on.

Looking back at all the difficult situations I have gone through earlier in my life and those that I am currently experiencing, I have realized that I have that tendency to forget the things (or even moments) that make me happy and grateful. Most of the time, I even do a lot of overthinking. The past 14 months have been a struggle every day but I swear I’ve been trying my best to handle each event better. My overall level of happiness has been suffering, how I wish and hope everything would be much better in time.

But here’s a take on what makes me happy when I was younger, so much younger than today.

Happiness is two kinds of ice cream
Finding your skate key, telling the time
Happiness is learning to whistle
Tying your shoe for the very first time
Happiness is playing the drum in your own school band
And happiness is walking hand in hand

Happiness is five different crayons
Knowing a secret, climbing a tree
Happiness is finding a nickel
Catching a firefly, setting it free
Happiness is being alone every now and then
And happiness is coming home again

Happiness is morning and evening,
Daytime and nighttime, too…
For happiness is anyone and anything at all… That’s loved by you…

Happiness is having a sister
Sharing a sandwich
Getting along
Happiness is singing together when day is through
And happiness is those who sing with you..

Most of my social media posts project a happy Lester but you could say that’s just a facade. Beyond those beautiful memories I have created in the past is someone whose been feeling hopeless, helpless, and melancholic. I’ll try to find that joy, I’ll try to get back at this post when I figure out what makes me happy in the now. For now, let me just soak up in my un-happy state.

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