Gratitude in Difficult Times

I don’t want to be a hypocrite and say I am okay or I’ll be okay anytime soon or even be thankful of my current situation (that I am still alive). In fact, I have so many questions, it’s difficult to process and I could no longer count the number of times I have felt so left alone, disappointed, depressed and all negative emotions out there the past months. It feels like everyday I am experiencing a new rock bottom. It’s as if everyday I’d feel a new lowest of the low point since that day I became visually challenged. I can no longer count how many times I had meltdown inside my room the past 2 months.

Admittedly, choosing to be optimistic about things and having an attitude of gratitude have been equally challenging to do in this very difficult times of my life.

Everything is easier said than done like saying “you’ll get by” or “just be strong, you can it”. But believe me, when things go as if everything is going wrong, being grateful for what’s going right becomes an ultimate challenge.

Still hoping I’d understand things in His time.

I know we’re all weathering different storms in life, despite in different boats. And maybe even explaining my current physical, mental, emotional and financial situation wouldn’t be fully grasped by anyone. These extremely stressful situations made it hard for me to focus on the good. Makes you wonder how can one be expected to see and appreciate the positive happenings in our lives?

BUT, tremendously difficult as it may have become, I have been trying my best to see and acknowledge even to just that 0.01% progress I maybe experiencing and I want to acknowledge the people who have been constantly praying for me, reaching out to me and sending out various forms of help.

Two weeks ago, I made a post on my Facebook how I have am ignored and unsupported by my very own immediate family members when I reached out. Whenever I say something, i would end up getting blamed about a thing or two. I never thought that my own family can be a make or break for my life. I have received so many messages of concern from various people – friends and even those who were just simple acquaintances and made me realize so many ironies in this world. Your own sister or brother wouldn’t care but people who are not even relat d to you by blood can give so much love and concern.

Days, even weeks have passed and I have continuously received messages of concern from various people. Most of whome I haven’t replied because I feel so overwhelmed that I don’t know what to say and do. A lot has been asking how can they send help and support and I really haven’t replied.

Today, as I am still in a constant battle with my so many questions im mind, I would like to acknowledge all those of you who have constantly prayed for me, to those of you who have left inspiring and uplifting words, those of you who sent help in different ways I have imagined (from Gcash money to food to medicine). Thank you very much. I don’t know how can I ever repay the kindness you’ve all given/shown me.

To those who are still asking that I drop my GCash or BPI number, I feel ashamed that it has come to this that you’ve been really insistent in knowing so you could all send help. Now, I shamelessly sharing it here and in advance would want to say thank you to any form or amount you’re all blessing me with.

Gcash 09279486375

BPI 0566290843

But more than these financial help, I want to whole heartedly say my thanks to Ate Lils, Jenco, Jonas, Niña, Aljen, Nessa and Claro for not giving up on me and for keeping me sane in ao many difficult times I was breaking down.

There are more people I would want to thank in my future posts but please know that I appreciate all those ways you’ve all tried to reach out and help. Thank you.

***Took me almost half a day to come up with this post as it is really difficult to just have one blurry eye to work with, but I just have to because tomorrow is Thanksgiving day in the US despite the fact we Filipinos do not really celebrate such occasion.


One comment

  1. Hello Lester. I know saying “just hang in there” maybe too repetitive and tiring for you… i have you in my prayers. Keep the faith and hope. Be strong.


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